I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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