This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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