I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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