he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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