They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
