His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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