I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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