This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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