Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
