K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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