She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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