You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
