I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
