It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
