The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
