apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
