the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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