pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
