I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
