i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
