I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
