I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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