Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
