That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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