Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
...so i touched it.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
