fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
