I bet he comes in French.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
