she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
