I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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