I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
