Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
