It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize