i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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