My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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