Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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