kristin has been a bad kristin
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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