Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
