Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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