i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
