bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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