Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I just sharted jello shots
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