doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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