I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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