me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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