I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
