so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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