I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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