I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
