at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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