Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
