mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
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I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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