i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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