so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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