There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
