My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
