I want to have your abortion
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
