and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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