put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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