That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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