Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
