what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
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I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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